It’s important to have several different coping skills that you can use in a variety of settings. Different types of coping skills will work at different times. For instance, if your child’s coping skill is putting his head down and closing his eyes for a few minutes, that works great at home. But if he’s in the middle of English class, that will probably not go over too well. It’s also important to try coping skills before passing on them. You never know what will resonate with your child. What doesn’t work at one time may work at another. Encourage your child to give any coping skill a try at least once. Sometimes, children need more explicit instruction to help figure out what works for them and what doesn’t. Or maybe they’re experiencing an incredibly challenging period of their life and need to add more coping skills to their repertoire to adapt. That’s when we, as the adults, try to teach them healthy ways to cope with their feelings.
Distracting Coping Skills are designed to distract you and keep your attention when you might otherwise be focused on a certain stressor. A few ideas:
Doing something kind for someone else
Baking or cooking
Playing a game
Drawing
Writing a story
Plan a fun event
Physical Coping Skills are designed to help you rebalance your energy, either to energize you or to help you manage your excess energy in your body. Things kids can do:
Jumping on a trampoline
Taking a scooter ride
Doing simple exercises
Going on a walk
Go swimming
Processing Coping Skills are designed to help you work through thoughts and feelings you have about challenging situations. Some suggestions:
Make a worry box
Write poetry
Use a journal
Use a feelings thermometer
Create a playlist to listen to
The benefits of Coping Skills is that everyone needs to be able to cope with life’s emotions and stresses in healthy ways. Childhood is a wonderful time to learn to cope with and manage life’s ups and downs. If children have good coping skills, they will:
Get along better with others
More easily make connections to others
Be able to start and maintain friendships
Be able to pay attention in school and learn
Manage better when more challenging experiences occur
e more resilient as an adult
How do I begin?
Start small - Identify one new coping skill to try per week. Have your child try it when they’re calm and see how it feels
Don’t give up- Your child may try a skill and hate it. Don’t give up and think they won’t ever have coping skills. Try that skill again a few more times. And if they still hate it, move on to a different skill
Begin with what they love- You know your child best. What do they enjoy? What do they love to do in their free time? Those activities are the beginning of making a good list of coping skills.
I encourage you to start a conversation with your kid about managing emotions and stress and ways to cope. They will benefit from knowing and using their coping skills!